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Vital words for understanding
expression = a word or group of words that communicate an idea
frustrated = feeling upset or annoyed because something is difficult
obligation = something you must do because it’s your duty or responsibility
opportunity = a chance to do or achieve something
mindset = a way of thinking or an attitude
annoyed = feeling slightly angry or irritated
access = the ability or right to use or reach something
confidence = a feeling of trust in your own abilities
discover = to find out or learn something new
pressure = a feeling of stress or urgency to do something
have to do = to need to do something because it’s necessary or required
get to do = to have the chance or privilege to do something
Let’s talk about motivation today. I was listening to a podcast and I couldn’t help but notice a comparison between two expressions. First, take a minute to look at the two expressions. Are they phrasal verbs? What do you think?
have to do x get to do
They are not. Whether you knew the answer or not, how does it make you feel? Frustrated? Confused? Annoyed? Asking yourself: why should I know? Why are you asking this? I don’t know about you, but I get very frustrated when I don’t know something. I keep asking myself why I don’t know, and I keep telling myself that I should know. I should know. I should know.
… and that is what is fundamentally wrong with how we think about ourselves, what we know or what we learn. We start seeing learning as an obligation instead of an opportunity. But what if we flipped that mindset?
Instead of saying, „I have to know this,“ what if we said: „I get to know this.“
Suddenly, learning becomes something exciting and full of possibilities. It’s not about feeling bad for what you don’t know. It’s about feeling fortunate for what you get to discover.
Let’s play a little with our brains. I am not a neuro-linguistic coach (yet), but I think we reshape our realities by the way we think.
So instead of saying: I’m bad at English, I made that mistake again. I need to study more. Say: I can learn this thing. I get to learn from this mistake and improve.
Don’t say: I need to understand how phrasal verbs work, I hate that side of English. Say: I get to explore that there is such a thing as phrasal verbs in this language.
I know it sounds cheesy – but the fact is that what we call a problem is a luxury for others. Millions of people never have access to formal education. The fact that you can learn English is a gift.
I practised the piano on Sunday. On 1 February it will be a year since I’ve taken up this hobby. I am bad. I am so bad at it. I can barely play three songs, and hardly ever without making a mistake. For a second I was frustrated. How can I be so bad? Or is it just so hard to learn? Eventually I realised that it did not matter. I chose a hobby, I learn, I progress, I fail – and I can do it for the rest of my life. There is no pressure, I have all the time I want.
I know that’s not the reality for many of you, and you needed English yesterday. But – doesn’t that say something about you? Even if you have a deadline, don’t let fear get the better of you. Changing have to to get to can transform your motivation and mindset. It makes learning a positive, empowering experience. When you stop seeing English as something to be conquered and start seeing it as something to be explored, you’ll find greater joy and confidence in your learning journey.
So the next time you’re frustrated with grammar or vocabulary, stop and say:
I don’t have to know this – I get to learn this.